Garrett Hilbert stood outside PNC Park in Pittsburgh dressed as a full pirate, tugging on locked doors, when the reality of his situation finally landed: baseball season was over, the stadium was closed, and he still owed 100 hush puppies. The Dude Perfect crew had taken their 52nd Overtime special to an actual tall ship on the open water, ditching the green screen for the real thing, and someone was always going to pay for that ambition. That someone turned out to be Garrett, and the bill arrived in fried dough.
Cool Not Cool on the open water
With Ty Toney away filming a separate project, Garrett stepped into the host chair under the unofficial title of Sparky. The pirates theme ran through every segment, starting with Cool Not Cool, where Cody Jones made an entrance that nobody expected. Rather than presenting an item himself, he introduced a Jack Sparrow impersonator who went by Jock Sparrow, a legally distinct distinction his lawyers apparently insisted on. Jock turned out to be a magician as well, producing a red dot from thin air, threading rope through impossible angles, and at one point nearly earning a green vote on the strength of a single trick before the crew demanded he keep going. Cory Cotton brought a genuine antique pirate sword from a treasure chest, only to watch it get voted down on the grounds that a dull, non-functional blade is, as one crewmember put it, incredibly lame. The segment closed with Kobe bringing out a baseball card he described as a mint niner rookie patch auto of one of the most recognizable faces in the sport, which earned considerably warmer reviews than the sword.
Sparky’s top 10 goes off the rails fast
The Top 10 segment was where Garrett’s hosting debut took its most visible damage. Encouraged by Ty’s standing philosophy that authenticity matters more than consensus, Garrett committed fully to a pirate rankings list that placed Long John Silver, the fast-food chain, at number one above Jack Sparrow. The reasoning, delivered with complete sincerity: ‘If you’ve ever laid your lips on a number two with those glorified hush puppies, you my friends would know that the top pirate of all time is Long John Silver.’ Jock Sparrow, still seated on deck, audibly objected. The rest of the crew called for Ty by name. Garrett acknowledged afterward, without much prompting, that it was atrocious and self-admittedly bad.
The fight scene segment staged a full pirate skirmish across the ship, complete with a villain called Jones, a rescue, a stolen key, and a miniature cannon that actually fired a BB, which Cody held over the full-size cannon that, for safety reasons, fired only a blast of air. The size disparity did not help the full-size cannon’s reputation.
The wheel landed on ‘dress as a pirate at a Pirates game,’ sending Garrett to Pittsburgh in costume. When Ned Forester was reached by phone for the consequence, he sentenced Garrett to 100 hush puppies, a detail that connected directly back to Garrett’s own Long John Silver number-one ranking. Garrett completed them, going double-fisted in the later rounds, and described the experience near the end as ‘the long john silver sweats.’
The final puppy at PNC Park
Garrett stood at the edge of the last box, one hush puppy remaining, and delivered the verdict plainly: ‘I’d love to tell you it’s been real and it’s been fun, but it quite literally has not.’
Back on the ship, the crew wrapped with the cannon still smoking and Jock Sparrow somewhere in the background, his red dot trick presumably still unresolved. The locked gates of PNC Park, the rental car paid for in shillings, the dull antique sword voted down on principle, and 100 hush puppies all traced back to one decision: taking Pirate Overtime to the deep sea, for real, instead of in front of a green screen.
Wake up to Only Happy News!
