Ryan Trahan was standing inside Red Rocks Amphitheater when the fog rolled in, rain soaked the crowd, and Lewis Kapali walked out to a technical failure he chose to simply erase from history. For ten days straight, Trahan and Haley had flown from one end of the country to the other, testing the top ten tourist attractions in America against each other, and it all came down to this final night in Colorado. The real verdict, however, had already been decided at the rim of something much older and much larger.
A morning flight that almost ended everything
Day ten started at 4:00 a.m. The goal was simple: catch flights to Denver, reach Red Rocks Amphitheater in time for the concert, and close out the series. It nearly fell apart before it started. Their first flight was delayed nearly two hours after the interphone system failed, leaving the crew unable to communicate between the cockpit and the cabin. The delay meant a connection through Phoenix, which sent them in the wrong direction entirely. Trahan made the connection on foot. Once in Colorado, the two had just enough time to visit the state capitol, where a stranger offered to photograph them near the center of the rotunda and kept requesting different angles until the results were genuinely impressive.
Downtown Denver delivered a detour to 16th Street, where Trahan picked up a Red Rocks hat and Haley purchased jeans on the advice of a hat store employee who had looked at her shorts with visible concern about the evening ahead. A Target snack run produced coconut water, portable protein packs, and a peanut butter perfect bar before the pair drove to their dinner reservation.
A 52,000-square-foot Mexican restaurant with a South Park origin story
The restaurant was Casa Bonita, a 52,000-square-foot Mexican restaurant next to a Dollar Tree in Denver. In 2003, South Park featured it in an episode. Seventeen years later the owners filed for bankruptcy, and the creators of South Park bought and restored it for 40 million dollars. Inside, Trahan and Haley were seated near the back, served chips and salsa, and watched cliff divers launch into a pool every fifteen minutes. The sopapillas, fried dough dusted in cinnamon sugar and honey, arrived as dessert.
Over the sopapillas, the two ran through superlatives for the whole ten-day run. Best meal: Ben’s Chili Bowl in Washington, D.C., though Gordon Ramsay‘s fish and chips and a restaurant called Stationary near Carmel-by-the-Sea both earned mentions. Best stranger: a tie between Jeff the bike tour guide from D.C. and Ben’s 92-year-old mother, who was clearing tables. Best view: the Grand Canyon, without debate.
Red Rocks under fog and rain
Red Rocks Amphitheater carried the highest percentage of five-star reviews of any attraction in the entire series. One reviewer named Jenny wrote that even the moon was perfect. Kristen kept it shorter: ‘This place rocks, lol.’ A reviewer who went by Red Ribbit declared it ‘best music video in the country’ and gave it five stars.
The walk up to the entrance was, on its own, worth the trip. Downtown Denver was visible in the distance from inside the venue. Trahan bought hot dogs from the concession stand and delivered them to Haley, who later felt entirely vindicated when the rain arrived. As Trahan put it, the past two summers had been ‘absolutely unforgettable.’
Lewis Kapali took the stage under a fog, experienced a technical failure mid-dramatic-intro, announced he was going to repeat the intro and asked everyone to pretend it had never happened, and then performed acoustically under the moonlight. Red Rocks finished the series ranked at number seven.
The scrapbook Haley made for every single day
Somewhere in a bag from the trip there is a handmade scrapbook, one page for each of the ten days, built to be passed down.
The Grand Canyon, visited the day before the final flight to Colorado, was named the number one tourist attraction in America, just as unbelievable in person, Haley said, as everyone makes it out to be. Ten days, ten flights, zero delays until the last one, and one unanimous answer at the end.
